You should stay away from this, in case you haven't figured it out. You're not even in the ballpark of a correct understanding of this situation. Better to just think you could argue your way out of this with a deficient understanding of the law than to put it to the test and find out how wrong you are in a courtroom.

Relax, I have no interest in testing any of this. I'm just shocked that there's so little room for interpretation

Sorry if I'm acting dense, it's not on purpose. What am I missing?