I literally had the same experience as you word-by-word, and I think internet at the time (late 90s for me) really helped see that other stuff was possible and even accepted elsewhere. Ultimately I think it made me seek other physical places earlier, which made me move away from that island and eventually move away from the country completely.

Don't know what the solution is but I also miss the weird small stuff, especially discussions that felt like they were between two people wanting to talk with each other, not discussions between people who are trying to convince each other or others.

Sometimes I wake up and think the only reasonable solution is to try to start up a web forum myself, employ the moderation strategies I used to see working for those types of discussions and give it a shot to bring it back. Luckily, HN is probably the most similar place on the web today, but it's just one place, with its well-known drawbacks that comes with the focus/theme it has.

I think there is something to be said about the value of the amateur. About not treating everything as a entrepreneurial side project where everything is sacrificed to the financial gods and you make the same choices as everybody else, because everything else would be a risk. Amateurs do things for the heck of it. They don't need it to be polished, they just love what they are doing and want to share that love. If you ever thought about doing anything, a blog, a band, a podcast, a youtube channel, a forum, a new type of thing for which a name has to be found: Do now, think about polish later (if at all).

Places like forums are great, but I don't even think it is strictly necessary need to make one (unless there is a niché that you care for which hasn't been covered). Maybe it is already enough to pick one that exists and to actively participate in it. I remember reading threads where I went like: "Man, these people are really, really into that topic, this is great!"