I've generally found quite a lot of success at abandoning goals / "destinations" for most things, and focusing on the "journey": don't aim to "be fit" or reach a specific weight. aim to "do one more thing" to make progress along a direction.

every step in that direction is success, every bit is something you weren't doing before and is something to be happy about. it doesn't have to be big at all - have you done one push-up today? do one. it doesn't matter if the answer was yes or no, adding one is one more than before and is achieving what you want, and it eventually adds up.

the nice part about this kind of mindset is that there's no end when you stop, and no failure when you miss a day. there's just a new ever-changing normal, always leaning where you want it.

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GuB-42 2 days ago | parent | next [-]

That's why I don't really get the gym. What is enjoyable in a gym? All activities you do there feel so useless and mindless. Running on a threadmill, lifting weights to put them back down, etc... For the journey/destination analogy, the destination is all that matters here, and you are taking the highway, because it is efficient.

There are may other activities that will get you fit and are what I think are way less boring. Sometimes, it is a literal journey, as in hiking. But also team sports, combat sports, climbing, actual gymnastics, etc... Here, you actually concentrate on the activity itself rather than on the end goal.

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yyx 2 days ago | parent | next [-]

Mindlessness is a positive thing here. You don't have to think, just follow the moves, hit your goals and the numbers will naturally go up over time.

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thevillagechief 2 days ago | parent | prev | next [-]

The gym, once you get into it, can be incredibly addicting. I'm not as consistent as I should be, but there have been times I've spent 3 hours at a time. I go through similar cycles with running as well. There's just an incredible high to these activities.

	▲	glitchc 2 days ago \| parent [-]
		It's worth noting that a great deal of the high depends on biology. Some human beings produce high quantities of endorphins under muscular strain. Others don't. Not everyone gets the same high, and some people may not get high at all. It's the same from eating peppers, for example. For those that don't get the high, the gym can feel like a slog.

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grep_name 2 days ago | parent | prev [-]

Idk, to me you sound like you've just never engaged seriously with lifting. It is itself an activity. I have no interest in team sports, combat sports, climbing, gymnastics, etc. I'm much more interested in trying to push my body in a controlled way, in full concert with max effort, with as close to perfect form as I can muster, and use every piece of my will I can to do that. It's an incredibly difficult and multi-faceted thing to master and unbelievably engaging.

Before I started trying to get stronger I thought it was going to be very easy. I'd basically been brainwashed by media to disrespect the entire activity of lifting. When I actually started, I was shocked how hard it was to progress beyond the beginning phases. You learn a ton about your body while doing this, as well as the psychology of effort, which is just as challenging. You also learn a lot about your proprioception, as with any sport. At this point, the only thing that demands a similar amount of attention is riding a motorcycle but really it pales in comparison. If I'm trying to hit the 3rd set of five, the one that really proves if I'm going to progress that day, I can't imagine having a thought. I can't even hear what's happening around me.

Your understanding that you don't concentrate on the activity is not true if you're actually trying. You could fill a bookshelf with 400 page books about just the squat. At any given point you are evaluating a ton of variables and frequently still having to go back to the drawing board to devise new ways to progress which are never the same as the last way. Your body fights you the entire time, preferring to put out as little energy as it can, the exact opposite of what you're trying to do. You learn that actually, you weren't giving it your all before, because you didn't know how, or your subconscious was gaslighting you. But that's ok, because there was literally no way to shortcut to where you are now mentally. It's a mindfuck, and it really changes you and your relationship with yourself.

It does help that it has benefits you don't get from most other activities, and that if done right it is restorative rather than destructive to the body like higher impact hobbies. It also helps that it has an outsized physical effect for a given time commitment compared to other activities. It's also true that a lot of people at the gym are just going through the motions for an end goal. But if your goal is actually to improve, it's a wild ride.

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GuB-42 a day ago | parent [-]

Most of what you are talking about is physical effort. Exactly the part I dislike. I want sport to distract me from physical effort. I love it when I end up completely drained (proof that I did work out) but didn't feel it coming because I was so absorbed by the activity. Someone mentioned the endorphin hit, maybe you have it and I don't and that's why we see things differently.

But one part that stuck me is this:

> Your body fights you the entire time, preferring to put out as little energy as it can, the exact opposite of what you're trying to do.

But weightlifting should be about minimizing energy! Your goal is to snatch that bar, and I know a lot of it comes from technique, that is, let physics do the as much as possible instead of brute forcing it. And avoid injuring yourself too. In fact, olympic weightlifting seems closer in spirit to gymnastics than what people commonly do at the gym.

	▲	delichon a day ago \| parent [-]
		> But weightlifting should be about minimizing energy! In only the very narrow sense of confining your energy within a technique to reduce injury. In other words, to minimize misdirected energy in order to maximize the rest. It's like putting tires on your car so that the energy propels it forward instead of just spinning the wheels.

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michaelcampbell 2 days ago | parent | prev | next [-]

> I've generally found quite a lot of success at abandoning goals / "destinations" for most things, and focusing on the "journey"

One of the habits books I've read ("Atomic Habits", I believe) has this piece of advice: When working on a habit focus not on what you hope to achieve, but who you want to become. This feels a lot like your reflection.

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Cthulhu_ 2 days ago | parent | prev [-]

Yup, and to change only one thing at a time; for loads of people it's January 1st and they're like "Today is day one of my new life!". I avoid the gym in january, it's usually busy and it eases off until a month before the summer vacation.

But the trick is to start small. One day I started to reduce the sugar (and milk) in my coffee, then I had none, started going to the gym, started losing weight, went to see a personal trainer, etc. But also the other way around, one day I bought myself some craft beer (La Chouffe, my beloved) and a while later I was over a hundred kilos, lol.