Calories in/out is the only reliable way (short of surgery or drugs anyway) to reliably change the size of your body in either direction. Genetics, where you are on the planet, hormones, and your average activity levels tweak things but this remains fundamentally true:

If you eat in a calorie deficit, you will lose weight.

If you eat in a calorie surplus, you will gain weight.

It's not hateful, it's math. If you have a hard time getting your intake down due to life circumstances, addictions, stress, whatever, you have my utmost sympathies and I would do anything I could to help, but I'm not going to bullshit you. If you want to weigh less, you must, over a long period of time, take in fewer calories than you burn in a day. That is how you lose weight in the most nuts-and-bolts way there is.

I'd also like to point out that people don't think about calories when they eat. They are thinking about their hunger. But for 50 years they've been told "carbs and whole grains are good for you". So they eat carbs which spike the blood sugar followed by spiking of insulin. A few minutes later both crash, which makes them hungry and they go back for more food which is carbs.

It is impossible to not overeat with that mindset. First they have to learn that fatty and fibrous foods will make them feel full all day. My go-to comfort food is ice cream. I was thrilled when I discovered https://rebelcreamery.com/ , which they sell at my local grocery stores. I can eat about 700 calories and a bit of psyllium fiber and be full for the whole day. It is the primary way I lost weight.