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WalterBright 2 days ago

My mom was a full time mom and I wouldn't trade that for anything.

ksenzee 2 days ago | parent [-]

That’s great, but not every mom is your mom. You just lucked out. This is like saying “my dad was a doctor and we lived very well and I wouldn’t trade that for anything.” Some dads aren’t cut out to be highly paid professionals. Some moms aren’t cut out to be good stay-at-home parents.

WalterBright 2 days ago | parent [-]

> Some moms aren’t cut out to be good stay-at-home parents

That would be a rarity.

ksenzee 2 days ago | parent [-]

Just because women have been shunted into childcare for millennia doesn’t mean we’re naturally better at it. It just means we’ve had to do it. Do you similarly think it’s a rarity for men not to be cut out for subsistence farming?

WalterBright 2 days ago | parent [-]

The bond between a mother and her child is very special and intense. That doesn't happen with a paid caregiver. Heck, I was glued to my mom till I was 4.

I'm sad for you that you don't seem to understand this, with words like "shunted".

My parents are decades gone, but I miss them every day. Not so for any paid caregiver.

My grandmother died when my dad was 9. In his 90s, he forgot that she was dead, and would cry wondering why she didn't visit him.

The notion that this can be replaced with the state is absurd.

ksenzee 2 days ago | parent | next [-]

Firstly, I am a mother with two children, so no need to educate me about the bond between mother and child. Secondly, of course children love their parents. You seem to be conflating parenting with daytime childcare. This is a common misconception among people who romanticize stay-at-home parenting: it’s either “mom stays home during the workday with kids” or “the state raises the kids.” You may not be aware, since you say your mom stayed home with you, that parents whose kids are in daycare do still get a lot of parenting time in. They see their kids a lot. They feed them, clothe them, kiss their scraped knees, help them with homework, put them to bed, take them to the park and movies and church. Daycare isn’t 24/7. It’s also not some kind of robotic state-sponsored apparatus. Childcare providers are people who have chosen taking care of kids as their career, they often have a degree in early childhood education, and they love the kids they take care of.

And I do not apologize for the word “shunted.” No woman in a modern society should be forced to choose between having a child and being something other than a full-time childcare provider. Men don’t face that choice; women shouldn’t either.

WalterBright 2 days ago | parent [-]

> forced

Let me look ... I wrote nothing like that.

> they often have a degree in early childhood education

Nobody needs a degree in early childhood education. It comes naturally to parents.

Childcare professionals may develop a bond with the kids, but it's nothing like the bond a mom has.

ksenzee 2 days ago | parent [-]

I'm the one asserting that women have been forced into childcare for millennia. It's the default state in the absence of societal support.

> It comes naturally to parents.

_Love_ comes naturally to parents. Almost nothing else does, in my experience. You are extrapolating from an incomplete dataset. Again, your mom being good at the job of staying home with kids does not make other moms good at it. You are talking to a mom who isn't. I do, in fact, exist. I am asserting that my family, and society, are better off because I had a choice of career. I guarantee my kids would agree. It has nothing to do with how much I love them, and everything to do with my aptitude for homemaking and preschool childcare.

habinero 2 days ago | parent | prev [-]

Those are nice feelings _you_ have, but they don't have anything to do with women being forced into childcare. You're romanticizing things you never had to do.

WalterBright 2 days ago | parent [-]

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