> Most people have a warmth and agreeableness that comes out when you are there with them, talking about stuff.

I really hate saying this, but I live in the Deep South and people here can quite repulsive under the veneer of manners. The amount of hate, anger towards people different from them, and just rampant racism is quite difficult to deal with. And these are things that get exposed when having these conversations.

I do as you suggest. But I'm always ready to just walk away from a conversation. There's no winning with these people and the moral injury you sustain by being in their presence is awful

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istjohn 7 days ago | parent [-]

Yes, moral injury. Thanks for giving me a new way to frame that experience.

The natural impulse to be sociable and get along with people combined with minor insecurity or social anxiety has led to social experiences that when I reflect on them, I can only cringe in shame at my timid response to some awful statements.

	▲	sixothree 7 days ago \| parent [-]
		It's not like you have a lot of options. You won't be changing these people. It's not your job. But you do need to protect yourself. It is okay to interrupt them and walk away, especially to any stranger or faint acquaintance. And to say "I'm not sure I agree with that" and let them keep talking will at least let them know where you stand.