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willemlaurentz 7 days ago

Following the book "The Power of Strangers" I once did an experiment with talking to random strangers, it is amazing what you'll learn from random conversations: https://willem.com/en/2023-10-13_hello-stranger/

kccqzy 7 days ago | parent | next [-]

You need structure for this to be amazing. Talking to a random person at a train station and asking for their destination isn't a meaningful conversation, even if they divulge a bit more about their travel plans.

Instead, I've personally really enjoyed talking to strangers while having a meal in the dining car of Amtrak trains, where they will force you to sit with three other people. This gives you more time together and more structure. I've talked to a retired real estate agent who told me stories about the houses his clients bought; I've talked to an old lady who told me first hand stories of the AIDS pandemic in the 1980s.

hackboyfly 7 days ago | parent | prev [-]

I would like to do that but I live in Sweden, talking to stranger is considered rude. Would be cool if there were a serious version of those random cam chats like omegle.

kruffalon 7 days ago | parent | next [-]

Well, that's not entirely true, you just have to be a bit particular about when and how to start the conversation.

Things I find work most of the time in Sweden to get started is complaining about something mutually bothersome, annoying or scary that you don't have any power over, things like:

- A third party being rude. So if you notice that someone gets annoyed by someone else you can huff and puff a little over that.

- the weather, obviously and often!

- if someone hurts themselves or trips (doesn't have to be as big an injury as in the article)

- children are great conversation starters, regardless if they are cute, loud, awake, still or whatever. And this is one of the few positive topics that work.

The trick is also to not keep talking about the annoying thing, because that is quite boring!

If you get more courageous you can also just ask about a place, piece of public art or even the way to some random thing, in my experience (a whole life) swedes are very helpful :)

My favourite question is to ask people who clearly hope to see me go away about the names of places, I don't know why that topic works so well to tear walls down, but it does.

skeezyboy 7 days ago | parent | prev [-]

> I would like to do that but I live in Sweden, talking to stranger is considered rude.

you all sound like a lovely bunch. is this a modern thing?

kruffalon 7 days ago | parent [-]

Not who you asked, but no, old ingrained cultural thing!

The trick is to trick us into not realising we are interacting, then we are quite friendly and polite :)

skeezyboy 7 days ago | parent [-]

> The trick is to trick us into not realising we are interacting, then we are quite friendly and polite :)

i dont think you can be friendly and ALSO dislike talking to strangers. I think thats what it means to be friendly, or at least its a necessary component of it