| ▲ | zwnow a day ago |
| Listen, I am 30 now. Not too old, still missing plenty of experiences in life. But I know what stuff I do not like, and I won't force myself to try and like them. I hate sports, I tried liking it, did not work out (heh pun intended). I hate cooking, I try it every other day, I will never like it. Its okay not to like things. |
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| ▲ | captaincrisp a day ago | parent | next [-] |
| 100%. I think the article makes space for this, too. In 3, 4, and 5 the author describes the experience of bouncing off of something despite trying to like it as well as _thinking_ you like something despite not _really_ liking it. Both types of experiences resonated with me. I think the key here is that you did try, you gave cooking and sports an honest chance, and it turns out that you're not into them. It doesn't feel like many people would put the effort in to really figure out if they _would_ like something that's initially uncomfortable or difficult. I think that's what the article is responding to - I read the overall thesis as "you might actually end up liking something that you don't like initially" rather than "you will like anything given enough effort". |
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| ▲ | zwnow a day ago | parent [-] | | Ah I can see that as well, I think you should discover new stuff all the time, but for some things you just know you won't like it, despite never having tried. Karaoke for me. |
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| ▲ | PaulKeeble a day ago | parent | prev | next [-] |
| In order to be sure you don't like something you have to try it a number of times before you can sure you dislike it. But its also important to assess what you dislike about it to ensure its not peer/societal pressure based or other potential assaults on the self rather than core to you. |
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| ▲ | kingkawn a day ago | parent | prev | next [-] |
| How are you an old curmudgeon at 30 |
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| ▲ | zwnow a day ago | parent | next [-] | | Long time depression, father dead at 15, half of family dead since, possibly adhd, moved places like 8 times, poor (thankfully no debt), balding, never had a relationship, constant anger due to the stupidity of other people (when reading comments on news articles as an example), and and and... | | |
| ▲ | coldpie a day ago | parent | next [-] | | > constant anger due to the stupidity of other people (when reading comments on news articles as an example) Holy cow dude, cut this one right the fuck out. Absolutely eliminate that portion of your day. Cold turkey straight to zero. Right now. Reading Internet comments that make you angry is like choosing to stick your face in the exhaust of a diesel truck. There's no reason to do it. Just don't. | | |
| ▲ | zwnow a day ago | parent [-] | | I get that. For lots of articles there are people giving additional context which i find highly interesting. As a German, nowadays I just see a lot of hate towards immigrants or women, which deeply saddens me. | | |
| ▲ | coldpie a day ago | parent [-] | | It's your life, but I promise you no amount of "highly interesting" is worth "constant anger." If you stop reading that garbage for a couple weeks, I promise you will wonder why on Earth you were ever wasting your time on it. |
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| ▲ | carlosjobim a day ago | parent | prev | next [-] | | I've met several people in my life that are like you, at least from what it sounds like in the description you give. Constantly anger and bitter. Probably for good reason, at least initially. And these people were smart people, hard working, honest. But here's the secret: If you behave like this, then people will only interact with you when they want something from you, leading to an even more bitterness and unfriendly demeanor, leading to even worse interactions with other people. Instead fake being nice and friendly and people will be nice and friendly with you and after what might feel like forever you will become genuinely nice and friendly. Giving you the possibility to enjoy better people and the better side of people. | | |
| ▲ | zwnow 14 hours ago | parent [-] | | This advice basically is "be fake and people will eventually like you" which is one of the reasons im constantly pissed off about other people. I respect authenticity and I do not need people in my life preferring a version of me that's not authentic.
Im content with being alone a lot, its preferable for me to having a lot of acquaintances.
I have a good circle of friends which is enough. | | |
| ▲ | carlosjobim 8 hours ago | parent [-] | | The advice is to embrace positivity and you will change yourself fundamentally. Why is it in your mind dishonest to be nice and friendly, and authentic to be angry and maybe cynic? You can get a lot of stuff done and get your way by being friendly, without being in the slightly dishonest or a pushover. Especially when dealing with strangers such as in business or dealing with "authorities". It's the easiest way to get what you need, because people don't want to help somebody who is not friendly. As for getting mad at stupid people on the internet, you're only getting mad because you expect them to be better. Accept internally that most people on the internet are deranged freaks, or just don't amount to much and the tension disappears and you don't have to be mad. Would you be angry at a cow for being simple minded? |
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| ▲ | kingkawn a day ago | parent | prev [-] | | Sounds like you need some you time | | |
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| ▲ | neutronicus a day ago | parent | prev [-] | | Hasn't had kids to push the Reset button, probably. | | |
| ▲ | zwnow a day ago | parent [-] | | I am fully against forcing kids into this world with the way things are currently going. If I see a future I'd want to live in I'll think about kids. | | |
| ▲ | neutronicus a day ago | parent | next [-] | | Fair perspective. Honestly, for me the joy of life was front-loaded. Childhood was great, lot of stress and alienation since, with joy taken where I can find it but not a typical condition. My almost-six-year-old seems to be loving childhood as well, so I hope that even if things go really pear-shaped for civilization in the next couple decades he'll regard having lived as a net win. | |
| ▲ | juanani a day ago | parent | prev [-] | | [dead] |
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| ▲ | jraph a day ago | parent | prev | next [-] |
| > I know what stuff I do not like You know that there are some things you don't like almost for sure. That makes all the difference. I'm slightly older than you and keep running into things I used to dislike and that I surprisingly dislike less now. And that feels good. Keeping the door open on disliking less seems critical to me. edit: read your other comment, good luck, I wish you the best and I hope you can enjoy more things as time passes and find a path that suits you! |
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| ▲ | magicmicah85 a day ago | parent | prev [-] |
| I hate cooking...for others. Three kids, wife - everyone has a different taste. I put peppers in pasta sauce, my boys won't eat it. I make it a bit too spicy, my wife won't eat it. I had a joy for cooking when I was younger because I surprised myself with how tasty I could make things but constantly trying to please family is just grueling as it's required to do the lowest common denominator. But I agree overall with your point. There are some things that I just will never like. I will try new things, but I quickly realize I'm not vibing with it and need to stop pretending. |
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| ▲ | carlosjobim a day ago | parent [-] | | Just let them go hungry if they don't want to eat it. Hunger is the best spice, so eventually they'll eat or make something themselves. Going without food for a day won't kill anybody. |
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