Then your font will look awful, because there's a lot more to fonts than just the glyphs. (See the lettering on https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Pope_Francis_Tomb.jp..., in the lower third of the image.) You cannot adapt the font's kerning or hinting software in this way, since that would be creating a derivative work: you'd have to take measurements from its output and reconstruct it that way, which is rather difficult to do without understanding.

The ruling is not foolish: it's actually one of the more sensible aspects of copyright law imo.

The shape of letters, including their spacing, isn't protectable under US law. Kerning and hinting aren't derivative, because typefaces aren't creative works that anything could be derived from.

>The ruling is not foolish: it's actually one of the more sensible aspects of copyright law imo.

The bar is so low, I fear you might be right on technicality.