It's really getting to be past time to migrate things off of the DNS.

Oh, you can be sure any new protocol approved by the IETF today is only going to reflect the needs and use cases of large corporations (see HTTP/3). We gotta work with what we have.

Or on to DNS? Ideally, we have something like fast.com (a speedtest running on Netflix servers - if a provide speeds you up during a speedtest, he also speeds up all Netflix).