> my main annoyance is deciding when to use a pointer or not use a pointer as variable/receiver/argument

i think you can take these[1][2][3][4] official advices and extrapolate to other cases

[1] https://go.dev/wiki/CodeReviewComments#receiver-type

[2] https://google.github.io/styleguide/go/decisions#receiver-ty...

[3] https://go.dev/doc/effective_go#pointers_vs_values

[4] https://go.dev/doc/faq#methods_on_values_or_pointers