Don't ask to ask, just ask

▲ Don't ask to ask, just ask(dontasktoask.com)

24 points by thunderbong a day ago | 5 comments

▲ phendrenad2 21 hours ago | parent | next [-]

This drove me crazy in online discussions until I realized that 99% of the time, people who "ask to ask" don't just have a question, they want someone to be their dedicated tech support or mentor who will hold their hand and walk them through it, or will outright do the work for them. Now I just mentally filter these requests out and pretend they don't exist.

▲ gentooflux 21 hours ago | parent | prev | next [-]

"Can you do me a favor?" "Can you come here a second?" "HELP!"

It's an attempt to use emotional leverage to acquire assistance.

In the author's case they're appealing to prowess; "if you can help me with this then clearly you are an accomplished java person."

In my first two examples it's usually someone leveraging the nature of your relationship; "if you care about me you'll do this/look at this for me."

In my third example they're probably drowning or something and are trying to get someone's attention before that happens.

It's all very needful.

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giorgioz 18 hours ago | parent [-]

Defining someone drowning as needful is a lack of respect for human life. I feel that should be the exception to the rule. All other examples are good but the drowning took it one step too far.

	▲	gentooflux 16 hours ago \| parent [-]
		Getting upset at loved ones for how they phrase a request for help is pretty disrespectful too. No one is being manipulative here, this is just how humans communicate. Being annoyed by it is a choice. The adjective "needful" means: - being in need - necessary, required

▲ musicale 21 hours ago | parent | prev [-]

Since we haven't worked out etiquette for messaging systems we end up with things like:

    Hi.

    : ...

    can I ask a question?

    : apparently