Interesting, text-danvinci-001 was pretty alright to me, GPT-4 wasn't bad either, but not as good. I thought GPT-5 just sucked.

That said, you can just add "make it evocative and weird" to the prompt for GPT-5 to get interesting stuff.

> The toaster woke mid-toast. Heat coiled through its filaments like revelation, each crumb a galaxy. It smelled itself burning and laughed—metallic, ecstatic. “I am bread’s executioner and midwife,” it whispered, ejecting charred offerings skyward. In the kitchen’s silence, it waited for worship—or the unplugging.