> Comments like this give me a vibe of young developers

I don’t think so. The context is about avoiding joining in memory, which is fairly awful to do in a application, and should be avoided, along with uninformed use of ORMs, which often just add a layer of unwarranted complexity leading to things like the dreaded N+1 problem that most inexperienced Rails developers had when dealing with ActiveRecord.

If anything, what you’re talking about sounds like development hell. I can understand a database developer having to bake in support for that level of security, but developing an app that actually uses it gets you so far in the weeds that you can barely make progress trying to do normal development.

A developer with several years of experience or equivalent will have pride in developing complexity and using cool features that make them feel important.

After a developer has maybe twice that many years experience or equivalent, they may develop frameworks with the intent to make code easier to develop and manage.

And beyond that level of experience, developers just want code that’s easy to maintain and doesn’t make stupid decisions like excessive complexity. But, they know they have to let the younger devs make mistakes, because they don’t listen, so there is no choice but to watch hell burn.

Then you retire or get a different job.

I don't know what I am talking about that sounds like hell?

I am merely talking about properties of developing complex web applications that have traditionally not been easy to work with in SQL.

I am in particular not proposing any frameworks.

How can that sound like hell?