Good article but I don't understand where the HN title comes from.

Thank you for pointing this out! By "missing social cues" I mean we're not recognizing that it's safe to reach out, we're missing the cue that the "fence" (fear of rejection, seeming needy, etc.) isn't real anymore. Like the dog who won't leave the porch, we think the barrier still exists when it's actually just conditioning from old experiences.

edit: editorialied title, and isnt in line with rules.

[SOLVED]