Is that why my wife keeps telling me I need to get a diagnosis?

It could be one of many!

I was diagnosed ages ago, relatively speaking, but my wife didn't get diagnosed until after our first child was born. We'd go for walks with him and he'd try to talk to her or ask her something and she wouldn't have any idea. I'd have to get her attention, let her know he was talking to her, and she'd ask him to repeat. Thirty seconds later, she's off in her own world again. After a diagnosis and a pretty low dose of medication, she's far better at being present in the moment, and she gets more out of life as a result.

When she was on her way to the doctor to discuss things, she asked me for a list of the things that made me suspect she had ADHD; I sent her a small list of my suspicions and she said afterwards that it was a really difficult thing to read about herself - strange to me, because, at least from my perspective, those are all 'normal' things for someone with ADHD to have and obviously not her fault.

It's worth mentioning that medication doesn't make you not have ADHD, though; she's still the same person with the same thought processes and habits, starting new projects all the time, and leaving stuff until the last minute unless she's put it in her calendar immediately. The difference is that it's easier to be conscious about how and why those behaviors affect your life differently than other people might expect, and to compensate for them if they're affecting you or others negatively.

I honestly think that this sort of diagnosis should just be a normal thing that they evaluate kids for in school. Let the parents do with it what they will, ignore it or look further, but I think a lot of people would be a lot better off if they understood from childhood why the gulf between society's expectations of behavior and their own were so different, rather than finding out after feeling like a failure or a screw-up for 10-20 years.