> What makes it ‘bearable’ are the simple things: family, friends, work, hobbies, helping other people, contributing to society, etc.

I've heard these things and have thought about them previously, but then I think, "How can I meaningfully contribute to society?" And then I get stuck in a loop realizing my contributions will not be anything of merit. And then I think, what would cause a lasting impact and be achievable? And then I realize how mass shooters are born.

Paul Chappell considered becoming a shooter. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qvqwrcdx9bg