A life is still worth living even if you never make anything of value or awesome. Find something you don’t understand at all, and feels impossible, and try to understand it. Repeat until you die or find something else you want to do.

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hellojesus 3 days ago | parent [-]

This is mostly what I do, and it's how I got into and continue to progress in tech from an unrelated degree. But I realize that it's unlikely I'll ever outpace the competition as a late 30s father, so my career progression and earnings seem somewhat terminal.

A life without side projects seems pointless, but at the same time the projects are probably ultimately pointless or of too slow progression to merit career leverage.

I seem to have found a path too late in life. Catchup or die seems to be transforming solely into die.

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deadbabe 3 days ago | parent [-]

Even if a side project were successful, in time it would also be pointless.

	▲	hellojesus 3 days ago \| parent [-]
		As are all things in time. But I estimate the impact of creating something successful would allow me to feel successful from success until natural end of life vs. feeling like a failure from now until end of life. Plus it will generate higher quality of life for my offspring, and my genetic code likes that. The question is then reduced to the expected value of success achieved at some point, discounted by how close it is to my stastical life expectancy. Is it positive? Seemingly not. Then I ask what's the point of a life with negative expected value? It seems like lots of people believe that life itself is a positive, so even a mean existence is worthy. This isn't something I'm able to accept for whatever reason, as I consider life to be EV+ only when it is one, if not two, standard deviations above the mean.