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fragmede 6 days ago

[flagged]

whatsupdog 6 days ago | parent [-]

Imagine flipping the genders and writing this comment in another context: "Women will go to great lengths to try and manipulate men. $2/month just gets you less crazy bitches", and imagine the outcry and downvotes. However it's totally normal and acceptable to bunch all men into a singular group and demean 50% of the population.

strken 6 days ago | parent | next [-]

Your example isn't properly gender flipped. That would be "Women will go to great lengths to take revenge on their exes. $2/month just gets you less broke crazies."

While the above statement would benefit from adding the word "Some" to the start, I'm not sure it would generate much outcry.

nailer 6 days ago | parent [-]

> $2/month just gets you less broke crazies.

Women aren't evaluated on their income like men are, they are evaluated on their looks. An equivalent app would be something that lets men share if women are less attractive than their pictures.

bigfudge 6 days ago | parent | prev | next [-]

You’re worrying about the wrong thing here. The fact that so many men do these kind of creepy behaviours, and that men who do them are largely indistinguishable from men you meet every day, means that from women’s perspective “men do creepy things, I need to be careful” is an entirely reasonable prior.

chneu 6 days ago | parent | next [-]

It's reasonable but it's also self-fulfilling.

Thinking every man is a predator is a great way to mostly meet male predators and wind up alone.

On app dates, it's extremely obvious when the person you're sitting down with has the "every man is a predator" attitude. Being treated like that isn't fun. Then a lot of people wonder why all their dates fail or go nowhere or why they can't move outside the app.

imtringued 6 days ago | parent | prev [-]

And yet it is also bigotry towards the innocent.

lotsofpulp 5 days ago | parent [-]

It is always interesting to see which prior probabilities are seen as acceptable for use and which are not. Humans have a very limited amount of time, and coupled with risk of physical danger, it should be expected for prior probabilities to be used. I would even go so far as to say necessary for long term survival.

In this case, given the long, well established history of the subjugation of women by men, I would say they are well within their rights to be "careful".

blks 6 days ago | parent | prev | next [-]

[flagged]

PaulHoule 6 days ago | parent | next [-]

Men seem to attack women more often that the other way around but both directions are signifcant

https://www.cdc.gov/intimate-partner-violence/about/index.ht...

Notably:

—- About 41% of women and 26% of men experienced contact sexual violence, physical violence, or stalking by an intimate partner during their lifetime and reported a related impact.

—- Over 61 million women and 53 million men have experienced psychological aggression by an intimate partner in their lifetime.

bigfudge 6 days ago | parent | next [-]

From memory I think those numbers for men include those in same sex relationships. Also worth noting that men are much more likely to be physically or psychologically attacked by other men than they are by women.

I’m not minimising the idea that women can Be violent, but we need to be careful to have in proportion. If you look at the most serious categories of harm, or only murder, the differences really are very stark.

_0ffh 5 days ago | parent [-]

Male same-sex relationships have the lowest numbers of abuse between all four categories, btw.

pyth0 6 days ago | parent | prev [-]

> sexual violence, physical violence, or stalking

> psychological aggression

Not at all downplaying the seriousness of emotional and psychological abuse, but these are very different things. Which is the main reason that the concept of this app doesn't bother me much. The immediate physical safety risks of dating as a woman are significantly greater than for men.

PaulHoule 6 days ago | parent [-]

Sure, but it's about a factor of two -- the difference between the sun at noon and 5pm, not the difference between night and day.

Broken bones heal, but psychological wounds can last a lifetime -- and cut that lifetime short either through self-harm or the impact on chronic diseases. Sexual assault is so problematic because it has a very long term psychological impact on people.

opello 6 days ago | parent [-]

It also seems obvious that a physical wound very likely occurs in a context that may also create a psychological one.

handedness 6 days ago | parent | prev | next [-]

Would you pursue that line of justification if the issue were ethnicity, nationality, sexual orientation, and/or gender expression? I'm not saying you should or shouldn't, and there are sound arguments for and against equating those things, but it seems like it merits consideration before one comments, not after.

whatsupdog 6 days ago | parent | prev | next [-]

So you'll agree with the following?:

Because we live in black crime culture and blacks do violently attack whites on much greater scale than the other way around. You don’t have to be even necessarily evil for that, honestly just some normalised behaviour in some black people can be enough to become a criminal for white people.

Levitz 6 days ago | parent | prev | next [-]

But you are just explaining why you are bigoted, bigotry which, in turn, you imply explains why you don't think it's wrong to be sexist. Sexist enough to disregard the importance of publicly sharing people's information.

Do you not see how this is deeply wrong?

blks 4 days ago | parent [-]

I’m a man myself, I have dated both men and women, and I did once experienced sexual assault by a men.

From a personal experience, I know for example a person in my friends group who turned to be a person that forces himself on drunken women at parties after they say no. And I don’t see anything wrong with letting all my friends know about this.

I don’t really understand why you here feel so afraid of people gossiping online. I’m a man that sleeps with women and I am not afraid about them talking about me. Even if they loose some platform, you know, they will still talk to each other.

b59831 6 days ago | parent | prev [-]

> Because we live in patriarchal culture

It's crazy how often this is used to justify awful behavior.

At what point do you have to define and actually prove the existence of "patriarchal culture"?

blks 4 days ago | parent [-]

“awful behaviour” such as?

perks_12 6 days ago | parent | prev [-]

I don't think you will find too many men being angry at your example comment just like no women will be pissed about what OP said about men. Don't be fragile.