A man in Des Moines visits a news stand every day, buys a copy of the Chicago Tribune, glances at the front cover, swears, and throws it in the trash. One day the seller asks "I've seen you do this every day for months, what exactly are you hoping to see?" The man replies "an obituary." The seller exclaims "but those are on page 9 and you don't even look inside" The man replies "the obituary I am looking for will be on the front page."