> "Everyone else seems to know when to say the right thing at the right time but you don't. You are some weird alien that does not belong. You try to memorize things to say, copy how other people act, it works but the mask often slips. You must be hyper-vigilant in every social situation to not let the real you slip out. It becomes so automatic that you don't even remember who you are anymore. It is exhausting, so exhausting and alienating. You crash and burn from time to time."

This is more of an Autism issue, no? I have ADHD, and this could not be further from the truth for me. I am not well-versed in Autism symptoms nor its various presentations, but I tend to excel in most social situations. I'm in my 30s with golden retriever levels of hyperactivity. Though, difficult to contain at times, I often think people are somewhat attracted to my high-energy presentation. I have no evidence to back up my claim, but I am inclined to believe the more ADHD-PI people suffer from those issues rather than the ADHD-C/-PH folks do.

> They can give you the super power to fold your laundry in a single business day, they don't get you high.

Stimulant medication can and absolutely get many people with ADHD high. Now, I am not saying everyone taking their prescribed medication as directed automatically gets high, but I believe there is a lot more abuse/misuse than doctors and researchers might be able to conclude.

> Medication is just one option, you can also learn better coping skills through therapy or coaching.

Everyone is different, but the data surrounding therapy and coaching for ADHD without medication does not really instill confidence in me. For brevity sake, I'll spare you all my opinions on/experiences with therapy.

I've medicated for a decade, and it's better than nothing, but it ain't far off from nothing, in my experiences. Though, I think I am just a poor-responder to medication, which sucks because I am basically fucked in terms of help.

> This is more of an Autism issue, no?

Yeah, first paragraph was more autism, the other more ADHD.

Personally, ADHD helps me make friends but also makes me not that great at keeping them. People for sure can experience some social difficulty because of ADHD. Pure impulse control and high energy can also be regarded quite negatively.

But in the right context people with ADHD can indeed shine socially.

> Everyone is different, but the data surrounding therapy and coaching for ADHD without medication does not really instill confidence in me.

Yes, good therapists are hard to find so I am not surprised you had bad experiences. I did not really have much luck myself but still generally urge people to give them a shot.

Personally, coaching was a game changer for me. It is not the same as therapy. The main point is you are talking through your problems with someone who has ADHD themselves. They know what it is to have ADHD, they have coached countless people with ADHD. They know what works and what does not.

They help you setting realistic and measurable goals and guide you towards reaching them. It is much more outcome and solution focused which can appeal to people more critical towards traditional therapy. Though coaching is also much less regulated so one also needs to careful to find someone decent.

If you haven't tried, you might want to give it a shot. Anyway, I hope you find something that helps you.