Yes, so i had another cofounder join in, with the previous cofounder exit, so first we sold the shares to the new cofounder at FMV and the company returned the sweat equity to him at FMV. Honestly, the best thing is to get a lawyer who has done these transactions before and once you have amicably communicated let the lawyer take this up, it will drain your energy otherwise.

Oh, also: if you feel like you're being forced to do anything, or negotiated hard against at all, or losing battles, just lawyer up. Depending on your jurisdiction you could start saying things like, "I dunno, sounds like oppression -- let's just do what's best for the company here".

seems like i'm losing another battle

If you frame it as a battle, you are already losing.

Because it is a battle where you are outgunned and out organized.

And in a battle you go from being a former employee/founder to an existential threat while burning your relationships.

If you need your initial investment back you could also take a note payable.

They're forcing you to sell?

Isn’t the 409a valuation FMV? I thought that the whole point of the 409a valuation was to find FMV? Do you mean par value?