I used to have a BMW that was doing that. My 'capacity/tolerance' to driving is max 10-12 hours. All I need is meat, caffeine, and SecurityNow and/or Metallica. I get it that BWM is trying to do the 'right' thing, but they should allow people to turn the darn thing off.

They do. You can deactivate all assistance either completely or selectively by pressing the button with the car symbol and the lighting circle around it. (Green if you have all activated, red if all deactivated)