>Going from something like your naive approach which I assume an LLM generated for you, to something productionized enough to bet your business on it, is not always trivial.

I'll admit, this hurts to hear a bit. This is real production code I've been running in a webapp that initially launched targeting PostgreSQL 9.5. This is not some crazy web-scale situation - these specific tables only experience at most 1 qps of write load - but this has solved the problem for this business as it stands here.