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I am not competitive. That’s a deliberate stance, and comes as a result of my life experiences (long story, get your hanky).

In order to “win,” someone else needs to “lose.”

That’s not something that I am personally comfortable with, but I totally understand that it’s not reasonable to expect others, to have the same attitude.

I’m also quite capable of preventing others from treating my attitude as “weakness,” and trying to make me the “loser.”

Kindness is not weakness.

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sethammons 6 hours ago | parent [-]

> In order to “win,” someone else needs to “lose.”

Only in zero sum. I don't think many things are really zero sum. The reason why both parties say thank you in a financial transaction is because the first party values the thing more than the money and the other party values the money more than the thing. Win-win.

I prefer winning as a team. I also like significantly contributing to that, but never at someone else's expense. I am the first to say "we did this" vs "i did this."

	▲	ChrisMarshallNY 5 hours ago \| parent [-]
		I worked for a Japanese company, and they explicitly discouraged individual recognition. It was always the team; even if one person was the keystone. I had a boss that authored a book on how to use some of our software. It was a good book, and he busted his ass, writing it (alone). His bosses made him completely remove any mention of his name. I feel that was going a bit too far, but I understand why. They used to say "The nail that sticks up, gets hammered down." The Japanese have the strongest teams I've ever seen, but it is difficult to get individual recognition.