I’ve actually put a decent amount of thought into this. I envision a raspberry pi sized device, with a simple front panel ui. This serves as your home CA. It bootstraps itself witha generated key and root cert and presents on the network using a self-issued cert signed by the bootstrapped CA. It also shows the root key fingerprint on the front panel. On your computer, you go to its web UI and accept the risk, but you also verify the fingerprint of the cert issuer against what’s displayed on the front panel. Once you do that, you can download and install your newly trusted root. Do this on all your machines that want to trust the CA. There’s your root of trust.

Now for issuing certs to devices like your router, there’s a registration process where the device generates a key and requests a cert from the CA, presenting its public key. It requests a cert with a local name like “router.local”. No cert is issued but the CA displays a message on its front panel asking if you want to associate router.local with the displayed pubkey fingerprint. Once you confirm, the device can obtain and auto renew the cert indefinitely using that same public key.

Now on your computer, you can hit local https endpoints by name and get TLS with no warnings. In an ideal world you’d get devices to adopt a little friendly UX for choosing their network name and showing the pubkey to the user, as well as discovering the CA (maybe integrate with dhcp), but to start off you’d definitely have to do some weird hacks.

This is incredibly convoluted scenario for a use case with near zero chance of a MITM attack. Security ops is cancer.

Please tell me this is satire.