As opposed to the core tenant of the mythology of social liberalism, the notion that somehow things can continuously change, at infinite speeds to an infinite degree, without blowing everything up at some point?

I don't think most social conservatives would agree with your interpretation that they want everything to stay the same forever. Rather, the "values, tradition, and customs" that you're crapping on are something to reflect on and guide change in a hopefully more peaceful, sustainable, and manageable way.

"Conservatives want everything frozen in time forever" is a straw-man to support a false dilemma.