| ▲ | tmpz22 2 days ago |
| > What I learned is to not to be afraid. Regardless of what is happening around you. Were you perhaps financially secure enough not to have to fear anything? Or tenured (Bell Labs!) that unemployment wasn't actually a threat to you? YMMV. |
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| ▲ | dartos 2 days ago | parent | next [-] |
| I long for the day when someone can give advice based on their own personal experience without someone else being like “well that won’t work for literally everyone” Yeah obviously. It’s a personal anecdote. |
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| ▲ | mathgladiator 2 days ago | parent | next [-] | | It's obnoxious behavior. For example, I decided when I was young to live in my car and be homeless. I saved a bunch of money, and I've been frugal most my life. I was also super focused at my work and climbed the ladder making real money. I believe most people don't have discipline to endure less than and the discipline to really listen to what power asks of them. There is a lot of great advice for people to do well in a job, but they just... don't apply it. These people are best to be ignored. | |
| ▲ | groby_b 2 days ago | parent | prev | next [-] | | What's the _point_ of the anecdote, though? You're taking up everybody's time to tell a story, do us a favor to have a relevant point. "Have no fear" doesn't apply to the article, at all. You might as well write "what I learned was to not stick legos up my nostril". Also good advice. Also not applicable. It's fine if it doesn't work for everyone, it's annoying if it isn't relevant to anyone. | | | |
| ▲ | luhsprwhk 2 days ago | parent | prev | next [-] | | I long for the day when people don't try to pass off vapid generic advice for likes. Waste of bandwidth. | | |
| ▲ | dartos 2 days ago | parent [-] | | A bit cynical, no? | | |
| ▲ | luhsprwhk 2 days ago | parent [-] | | Giving generic feel-good advice is a decent strategy to farm likes from the naive. Some people have no shame. | | |
| ▲ | ahmeneeroe-v2 2 days ago | parent [-] | | Don't be afraid is excellent advice, sorry but you're coming off as very cynical. | | |
| ▲ | refulgentis 2 days ago | parent [-] | | I was watching a trial the other day and the prosecutor asks "And did you often see your nephews at your mothers house when you video called her?", and the defendant, a dentists, says "Yep, watching TV, brushing their teeth.[5 second silence] Don't forget to brush your teeth. Really important." The prosecutor smiles, laughs, and says "A little dull humor never hurt, eh?" I'm not sure your average adult would find "don't be afraid" to be "advice", or some deeply meaningful advice that only a cynic would think was anything less than excellent. |
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| ▲ | kayodelycaon 2 days ago | parent | prev [-] | | It’s not just a personal anecdote. It’s telling people what they should do. A personal anecdote would be saying this is what worked for me. Not this is how you should do it. It comes off as telling you what your problem is and how you should fix it. |
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| ▲ | Stefan-H 2 days ago | parent | prev | next [-] |
| While YMMV, a fear response is a choice. You can have all the rational reasons to be afraid (like the bottom of your hierarchy of needs being unmet) and choose to act out of cold rationality rather than fear. Then it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy - if you can act without fear even when there is justified reason to be afraid, you will be able to easily do so when it isn't justified. |
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| ▲ | Paul-Craft 2 days ago | parent [-] | | Where I come from, "hav[ing] all the rational reasons to be afraid" and pretending otherwise is called a delusion. I prefer to see the world as it is. | | |
| ▲ | Stefan-H a day ago | parent [-] | | "... is called a delusion". What I am suggesting is not delusion, it is mindfulness and cutting through delusion. When one is presented with something that elicits a fear response (whether the stimulus is rational or not) the goal is to quiet all of the "lizard brain" reactions, and instead formulate a well reasoned response. "Fear is the mind-killer" - while from fiction, still rings true to me - if you react out of fear you will short-circuit internal processes that are far better at long-term reasoning even when at the expense of short-term comfort. | | |
| ▲ | Paul-Craft 20 hours ago | parent [-] | | I'm sorry, but that is delusional. It is not possible for humans to forego emotion in favor of logic. | | |
| ▲ | Stefan-H 20 hours ago | parent [-] | | It's really just about giving yourself enough time to think before you respond. That's the entire difference between a reaction and a response. You can use dialectical and cognitive behavioral therapies to help develop the tolerance to do that. Mindfulness and meditative practices like those in zen buddhism have proven helpful to me as well.
Perhaps you're taking an extreme interpretation of my using the word "logic" and instead you could use "wise mind" or even just "considered thought" as the response in lieu of an emotional one. |
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| ▲ | zeroCalories 2 days ago | parent | prev [-] |
| People acclimate to their circumstances. Do you think people in developing countries live in a constant state of panic because they don't have a seven figure retirement account? |
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| ▲ | charlie0 2 days ago | parent | next [-] | | This. Just gotta live within your means. It's so easy with a developer salary unless you're 1 year in and haven't had time to save for a rainy day. | |
| ▲ | 84748498373 2 days ago | parent | prev [-] | | > Do you think people in developing countries live in a constant state of panic because they don't have a seven figure retirement account? If Brazil is anything to look at, maybe? https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC7111415/ |
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