We have limited access to devices for under ten. Even educational apps on tablets have strict time limits. Initially there is an emotional reaction to limits and we talk to them about who is in control. Them or the technology. We want them to have mastery over the tech so that they can put it down. Only when you can put it down and move on to a real world activity are you the one in control. Personal tech is a tool, a dangerous one. We would not hand car keys to a 5 year old and let them teach themselves how to drive. Recently my 13 year old asked for a blow torch to do some metal work. We explained the danger and over see the tool. He is totally absorbed in his craft, he has not asked for a phone. In a chat with a neighbour we mentioned the blow torch and said “ we find it to be less dangerous than social media on a smart phone. They stopped and said “yes, that is absolutely right.” We just got our 16 year old a smart phone but with limits. He needs the tool for work, orchestra communication and for maps of public transport. We are in a constant dialog about gaining personal freedom and responsibility. We have friends whose children are self harming due to bullying they have experienced on social media. It has been a deep discussion in their home. They are carefully walking their way forward but they regret not having more safety rails and discussion 2 years ago.

I’m of the opinion that we need to think of smart phones like power tools. And that there ought to be significant training and oversight and demonstrated understanding of risks and how to use the tool safely.

I’m just reflecting, I have scars on my hands and arms from power tool accidents, misuse. I wonder what scars are on my psyche from device use? Certainly some. Harder to pinpoint