| ▲ | paulcole 5 days ago |
| You don’t need to worry that much. Most people turn out pretty OK despite their parents screw-ups and best intentions. |
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| ▲ | aristofun 5 days ago | parent | next [-] |
| That is pretty dangerous position to take. “That much” is a very vague line. It is more true that more kids turn out to be fine when their parents care, than when they don’t. |
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| ▲ | paulcole 4 days ago | parent [-] | | But I’m not saying “don’t care.” I’m saying that if you screw up sometimes but generally have good intentions your kid is probably going to be fine. But it is also your right to try to figure out the perfect thing to do in every situation. | | |
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| ▲ | more_corn 4 days ago | parent | prev [-] |
| lol, take a quick peek at your home’s Internet access logs. You’ll almost certainly find opportunities for some parenting / teaching moments. |
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| ▲ | paulcole 4 days ago | parent [-] | | Isn’t the teachable moment to realize your kids are going to see those things no matter what I do? Kids on the internet see all sorts of stuff and almost all of them end up fine. | | |
| ▲ | jacobgkau 3 days ago | parent | next [-] | | I would've ended up a lot more "fine" if my parents hadn't given up on parental controls almost immediately after I learned to circumvent them. Some of the things they'd have had to tell me would've been embarrassing for all parties involved, but I genuinely believe it would have improved my socialization and overall happiness during critical parts of my development, with ramifications continuing to this day. Instead, they took the opposite approach and praised me as "good with computers" when they failed to impart either voluntary discipline or mandatory access controls on my computer usage. I do appreciate your overarching message, but I also agree with others that there is a ton to worry about, and I think it can be a disservice to assume things will work out "fine" when they could potentially work out better if parents make different choices. Things "working out fine" is more how to get to sleep at the end of the day when not everything has gone to plan, as opposed to the first line of defense. | | |
| ▲ | paulcole 3 days ago | parent [-] | | > Things "working out fine" is more how to get to sleep at the end of the day when not everything has gone to plan Yes I agree with this. I mean look at most people’s lives. Have they all gone to plan? For the most part, no. Every part of them could be better if they took different actions and made different choices. So what? They didn’t and they didn’t. They’ve got what they’ve got. Why stress yourself out over what you could have done better when you’ve done good enough? | | |
| ▲ | jacobgkau 3 days ago | parent [-] | | I actually agree with you that a vast majority of people are living sub-optimally in one way or another. I don't stress myself out over "most people's lives" because I have no stake in them. I do have a stake in my own life and my family's-- that's why it's to be "stressed out over." As of right now, despite all appearances, my parents actually haven't "done good enough." Mistakenly thinking it was good enough if I was financially successful, they failed to properly socialize me. But they're on the same feel-good train as you and most of society, so they won't acknowledge it. | | |
| ▲ | paulcole 2 days ago | parent [-] | | Who cares if they acknowledge it? There’s no going back in time and assuming you are financially successful you’re in a very good position to learn how to socialize yourself. Essentially everybody feels like their parents let them down in some way to some extent. Your parents could’ve socialized you properly and then you’d find some other way they let you down. Additionally, I didn’t say that most people’s lives are suboptimal. I said that most people’s lives didn’t go according to plan. There’s a pretty significant difference. |
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| ▲ | oldandboring 3 days ago | parent | prev | next [-] | | If you don't mind me asking... do you have kids? | | |
| ▲ | paulcole 3 days ago | parent [-] | | no im a junior in high school and they gave me a bag of flour to tote around for a week and i think i got the gist of it |
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| ▲ | ta1243 3 days ago | parent | prev [-] | | Teachable moments is things learning about things like DNS, vpns elsewhere, man in the middle attacks, etc. |
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