> How do you figure Google's backup (which backs up contacts, messages, photos, mail, and remembers which apps you have installed) is bad?

It uses Google. I have servers, desktops, laptops and phones, all of which are computers and all of which are on a local network. It should be possible for me to move all the data on my phone to a server, desktop, laptop or other phone without once sending a single byte outside of my network.