> which your very physical existence on this planet depended during your developmental years

I don’t believe children ever owe their parents anything, accounting for the fact that having children is inherently a selfish act and children don’t consent to having been born. This foundational disagreement may bubble up to disagreement in general about familial obligations (or the illusion of obligation) and how to approach them.

Certainly, how you approach your own unique situation is going to be a function of your tolerance, boundaries, prioritization of self care and your own wellbeing, as well as compassion for anyone you feel deserving of your time, attention, and interaction capacity. Do no harm, but take no shit.