Nobody can do Agile right because there's no one-size fits-all process. There are Agile approaches you can use and see if they work for your team.

The motto is "individuals and interactions over processes and tools" because if a process or tool isn't working for you, you're not supposed to use it.

It's like communism in the sense that it's defined with all the good quantities you'd want in a society or workforce and has several conflicting methods to get there. It's a set of principles that invites people to argue about how their approaches fit into them. Maybe that's the point.

Sounds like you expected it to be a silver bullet. Is there something in the agile manifesto that implies that?