I'm not sure why you bring up Rust here, plenty of libs/languages use the Result pattern.

Your explanation of what bothers you with results seems to be focused on one specific way of handling the result, and not very clear on what the issue is exactly.

> what's the difference between your program and one with exceptions

Sometimes, in a language where performance matters, you want an error to be handled as an exception, there's nothing wrong with having that option.

In other languages (e.g. Elm), using the same Result pattern would not give you that option, and force you to resolve the failure without ending the program, because the language's design goals are different (i.e. avoiding in-browser app crash is more important than performance).

> syntactically noisy

Yeah setting up semantics to make users aware of the potential failure and giving them options to solve them requires some syntax.

In the context of a discussion about golang, which also requires a specific pattern of code to explicitly handle failures, I'm not sure what's your point here.

> full of footguns

I fail to see where there's a footgun here? Result forces you to acknowledge errors, which Go doesn't. That's the opposite of a footgun.