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wigglyartichoke 3 days ago

Lonely people are weird because there's no social feedback loop, a lot of teachings are "self-taught" (for example how not to be an asshole), and even in engineering there's a "different" way self-taught engineers think

For a lot people this lack of a feedback loop started as children. In the worst cases, where there's child hood abuse and neglect, any seeking out of positive feedbacks either goes unheard or punished

The feedback loop reinforces itself in the short-term because being lonely and staying in the "hell you know" is better than dealing with the social failure, which might "prove" you don't belong in society and it will never change

Breaking the negative feedback loop is the hardest thing to do especially being born into it

Der_Einzige 3 days ago | parent | next [-]

Hence why the term “oversocialization” is more real than ever. Autists don’t deserve the hell they get just because everyone else around them was over socialized. It’s telling that these days, the majority of real advancements in the world are done by people with ASD. Maybe the world should try being nicer to them.

valec 3 days ago | parent | next [-]

terms like "oversocialized" suggest you spend too much time on imageboards and you would do well to get off those sites. same with "humiliation ritual"

Der_Einzige 3 days ago | parent [-]

tu quoque

johnnyanmac 3 days ago | parent | prev [-]

>Autists don’t deserve the hell they get

Sure.

> Maybe the world should try being nicer to them.

That's hard because of negativity bias. 90% of the world can be nice, but that 10% will stick out like a sore thumb. That strategy of "be nice" works on a micro level, but not macro.

doublerabbit 3 days ago | parent | prev | next [-]

> Breaking the negative feedback loop is the hardest thing to do especially being born into it

And it doesn't happen overnight. It's taken myself five years just to be at a level where by you can defensively stand for myself and look at myself in the mirror and be pleased at where I am. The only support being my mother.

valec 3 days ago | parent | prev [-]

well, thankfully there are tools [1]

1. https://www.nature.com/articles/s41586-023-06204-3