blaming anything or anyone gets you exactly zero seconds closer to getting the job done.

You could perhaps reframe "blame" as identifying the source of the problem and iunderstand why it can be a useful excercise (aslo none of us here are trying to solve the problem really, just wasting time on the internet). In this case Node and it's atendant ecosystem are certainly a part of the problem but I would agree that Gatsby is a bigger part of the issue as they don't seem to have any interest in taming the Node dependecy management beast. I've had to dig into Gatsby projects mere months old and it really was like opening a can of worms.