> I want a provider that leaves me alone and lets me just throw money at them to do so.

That’s been my experience with Hetzner.

A lot of people get butthurt that a business dares to verify who they’re dealing with as to filter out the worst of the worst (budget providers always attract those), but as long as you don’t mind the reasonable requirement to verify your ID/passport they’re hands-off beyond that.

That's fair and I don't have any major issues with that.

I guess my concern on the bureaucracy is if you are unlucky enough to get flagged as a false positive it can be an annoying experience. And I can't really blame them too hard for having to operate that way in an environment of bad actors.

You're definitely right that the budget providers do attract the types of people trying to do bad things/exploit them in some way.